Did you know that being nice to others can actually be good for you?
My mother always chided me to be nice.  Sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn’t.  After all, we all get grumpy from time-to-time and take it out on those around us. We can see that being nice to others is good for them, but did you know it is in your best interest too?  Recognizing the personal benefits of being nice might motivate us to do it a little more often like when that person cuts us off in traffic.

What does it mean to be nice?
Niceness is rather vague.  What exactly does it mean to be nice?
Well, in my mind, it means being kind, generous, agreeable, pleasant, respectable, friendly, forgiving and tactful.  It means going out of your way to treat others in the way that you want to be treated.
The best portion of a good man’s life – his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love.  ~William Wordsworth

Being nice when you get cut off in traffic, means that instead of assuming the driver is an insane jerk and giving them the bird, you give them the benefit of the doubt.  Maybe they didn’t see you or maybe they were late for a very important meeting or maybe they just made a mistake.  Why not just smile and let it go?  It is good for you to be nice in these situations. Being nice also means doing kind acts.  It means volunteering, donating and pitching in to make your home, neighborhood and community a better place. It means offering yourself to a cause that you believe to be worthwhile.  This might be something big like saving the environment or little like helping your spouse carry in the groceries.

Nice is such a small word, but it has big implications.  It takes a little time and effort, but it is all so incredibly worth it. How being nice is good for you, let me count the ways First, let me say, that I don’t mean to turn being nice into something selfish.  We should certainly strive to be nice for altruistic reasons alone, but knowing the personal benefits might motivate us to be nice a little more often.  That’s my intention here.

Here are ten ways that being nice is good for you:

1. Being nice leads people to like you
It is much easier to like someone that is nice.  We all want friends that are kind, giving and considerate.  We want and need people in our lives that support us and that will be there for us when we need them.  The old saying, “Be a friend to have a friend” really holds true and research shows that those with a greater social network are often happier, healthier and more productive!

2.  Kindness promotes confidence and optimism
Doing kind acts and being nice builds one’s confidence and optimism.  It just makes us feel good about ourselves when we do things for others.  Giving of ourselves to others builds up our positive self-image.  It also gives us a sense of hope.  We feel more powerful and in control when we make a positive difference in the life of another.

3.  Niceness makes you feel good about yourself
Haven’t you heard that it is better to give than to receive?!?  In fact, studies have shown that the giver usually has a bigger boost in positive emotions than the receiver!  Being kind and nice really is good for you.  It gives you that warm, fuzzy feeling all over.  Of course, these positive feelings carry over into all areas of your life causing a general improvement in well-being.  This translates into feeling good about yourself.  What a bonus!

4. People will reciprocate in your time of need
From time-to-time, we all face challenges, disappointments and losses in our lives.  When you’ve been nice to others during their struggles, it is more likely they will return the favor during your time of need.  This is just human nature.  Most of us feel really motivated to help those that have helped us.  Stephen Covey described this as the emotional bank account.

5.  Doing good deeds adds meaning and significance to your life When you donate money to further a good cause or volunteer your time to help build a house for an underprivileged family or go visit a friend in the hospital, your life suddenly becomes much more meaningful and significant.  You are making this world a slightly better place with your acts of kindness.  This is valuable and it makes us feel important which is something we all want.

6.  Being a volunteer can help you discover hidden talents
Volunteering is a great way to be nice.  It can also help you to uncover talents you didn’t know you had.  They say that necessity is the mother of invention.  Well, when you put yourself in a position to see the needs of others, you might rise to the occasion and discover capabilities that you never knew you had.  This can be fun and exciting!

7.  Being a do-gooder relieves stress and guilt
Being nice and doing good deeds is a less stressful way to live.  It creates less conflict and avoids feelings of guilt over bad behavior.  In addition, the act of doing something nice for another generates those great feelings that seem to trump all that stress that we build up from daily living.

8.  Helping others will make you feel thankful and advantaged
When we engage in assisting others in their time of need, we often walk away feeling better about our situation.  We naturally compare our lives to those that we are helping.  This comparison can leave you feeling more grateful for the life you have.  You’ll be able to see just how advantaged you are!

9.  Being nice fosters a greater sense of family and community
Your niceness will lead you to meet all kinds of people and get involved in a plethora of worthwhile activities.  This builds a greater sense of togetherness.  Even within your own family unit, you can foster an increased sense of connectedness and fondness toward one another by being extra thoughtful.  Being nice has a powerful effect!

10.  Engaging in generous acts distracts you from your own troubles
Doing nice things for others can serve as a useful distraction from the the challenges you face.  If you are trying to quit a bad habit, then generously engage yourself in helping others to keep your mind off of smoking or eating or biting your nails.  This is an excellent strategy that profits you and others!

Go be nice and you’ll experience many positive benefits!
As you can see from the list above, being nice has many benefits.  Wouldn’t the world be such a better place if we were all just a little nicer today?  We would all feel so much better about one another and ourselves too!  I challenge you to increase your effort at being nice and see for yourself what it does for your attitude and happiness.

This article first appeared on the Blog My Supercharged Life
It has been re-printed in full.

As life dragged on after her best friend Lynda Drabek’s funeral, Charlene Moser took a novel approach to keeping the pain at bay: She carried out small acts of kindness. The good deeds she chose”paying for the drive-thru customer behind her, for instance”were things Lynda, a lifelong altruist, had done. “She would go through her address book, pick someone at random and write a card to them”no occasion, just because,” Moser recalls.

At first, being the Good Samaritan wasn’t easy. Both recipients and intermediaries”the drive-thru cashiers, for instance”were suspicious of her motives. Still, any resistance paled compared to the satisfaction Moser felt when someone smiled or thanked her for her efforts.

Literature, religions and fairy tales all trumpet the message that kindness will change our lives for the better”think of a transformed Scrooge in A Christmas Carol. But is this message just a sugar-coated platitude, or can altruism really create lasting satisfaction?

Last year, Stanford University psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky decided to put the kindness-fulfillment connection to the test. She asked students to carry out five weekly “random acts of kindness” of their choice, anything from buying a Big Mac for a homeless person to helping a younger sibling with schoolwork.

Her results indicate the Scrooge effect is no myth. The students reported higher levels of happiness than a control group, with students who performed all five kind acts in one day reaping the biggest rewards by the end of the six-week study period. Previous studies have found that altruistic people tend to be happy, but Lyubomirsky’s was the first to establish that good deeds are actually the direct cause of an increase in well-being.

Why is being generous such a mood-booster? While hard-and-fast answers are elusive, the main reason is that it gives people a strong sense they’re doing something that matters. “There are a lot of positive social consequences to being kind”other people appreciate you, they’re grateful and they might reciprocate,” Lyubomirsky says. All of these responses, she adds, are likely to make your happiness cup run over. In another study, she found that people who felt most strongly that others appreciated their efforts reported the biggest boost.

New Jersey rabbi Shmuel Greenbaum can testify to the ways kind acts reshape the self-image. After his wife, Shoshana, was killed by a suicide bomber in Israel in 2001, Greenbaum decided to respond by carrying out small acts of kindness each dayand gradually felt his anger and apathy dissolve, replaced by a strong sense of purpose. “Being kind helps you feel in control,” Greenbaum says. “By doing a good deed, you’re saying, ‘Here’s something I can do to change the world.’ ”

Of course, real-world kindness bears little resemblance to sunshine-and-lollipops cliches. For starters, not all good deeds promise equal returns. Passing out smiley-face stickers or leaving lucky pennies on the sidewalk may not yield fulfillment, according to Jonathan Haidt, a University of Virginia psychologist and author of The Happiness Hypothesis. Instead, he recommends choosing deeds that strengthen existing social ties, such as driving to visit your grandmother. “If you do a random act of kindness for a stranger and it’s a one-shot deal, there’s much less likelihood that you’re going to see any benefit,” he says. “It’s not the altruism per se that’s important. It’s really all about building relationships.”

Lyubomirsky’s work reveals another potential kindness pitfall: Like almost any other activity, being nice gets boring after a while. In a companion study, she found that participants who varied their acts of kindness”volunteering at a library one day and hosting a surprise party for a friend the next, for instance”reported bigger increases in mood than those who repeated the same act over and over. “You need variety or else it gets monotonous,” she says. “It becomes a chore, like doing the same run every day.” To experience kindness as a natural high rather than drudgery, she suggests brainstorming creative, unexpected good deeds, like surprising your nephew with a new Super Soaker or returning to your old high school to visit a teacher who inspired you.

It’s easy to resolve to be a kinder person, but translating intention into reality is another matter entirely. To make sure your commitment doesn’t weaken, Haidt advises using a marathoner’s strategy: partner up. “Try joining a volunteer outfit where you form ties. That’s easier to sustain than being a ‘kindness guerrilla’ working on your own.”

Though Charlene Moser started out as an underground altruist, she eventually broadened her vision, wanting others to share in the joy she felt from doing good deeds. Three years ago, she founded Lynda’s Legacy, a nonprofit organization dedicated to encouraging people to carry out acts of kindness. At last count, the society had distributed more than 10,000 “pay it forward” cards reminding people to incorporate something kind into their day. Says Moser: “I like to think the cards have resulted in thousands of kindnesses to people I will never know in places I will never see.”

Need a Nudge?

Try one of these small acts to start your own kindness campaign:

• Pay the toll of the driver behind you.
• Shovel your neighbor’s sidewalk after a snowstorm.
• Call or visit an older family member.
• Bake cookies for a neighbor.
• Give an extra-large tip.

The Kindness Test-Drive
Two Cynical Friends Take On The WorldKindness studies sound heart-warming, but are the results relevant to real life? To find out, I took on Lyubomirsky’s challenge, carrying out several acts of kindness in one day. I enlisted my friend Roshni, a born skeptic, to do the same.

I kicked off my day by writing a long letter to my middle-school French teacher. Though I haven’t spoken to her in a decade, I count her among my most inspiring role models, so I told her what she’s meant to me and gave her a run-down on some of my old classmates’ exploits. Penning the letter lifted my cynical spirits, especially since I’d long wanted to do it. However, feeding a vending machine so the next person would get a free snack just left me cold. Just as Jonathan Haidt predicted, the acts that gave me most satisfaction involved relationship-building and the possibility of reciprocation.

Roshni had a slightly different take. One of her favorite tasks was tossing treats to appreciative dogs tied to parking meters (“They were so happy and sweet!”). Donating her brunch leftovers to a group of Haight Street hippies didn’t give her the same happiness boost, since they expressed little gratitude and made suggestive comments instead. “Maybe I’m shallow,” she says, “but I liked getting recognition for my random acts, and the recognition I got was proportional to how happy they made me feel.”

This content is Copyright Sussex Publishers, LLC. 2006. This content is intended for personal use and may not be distributed or reproduced without the consent of Sussex Publishers, LLC. Reprinted with Permission To Learn More visit Psychology Today Magazine

The answer is an overwhelming “yes!” A number of scientific studies show that Acts of Kindness result in significant health benefits, both physical and mental, for those who perform them.

One of the most compelling studies of altruism was performed by Allan Luks and documented in his 1991 book, The Healing Power of Doing Good: The Health and Spiritual Benefits of Helping Others. Luks is the former executive director of the Institute for the Advancement of Health and executive director of Big Brothers/Big Sisters of New York City.

Luks’ study involved more than 3,000 volunteers of all ages at more than 20 organizations throughout the country. He sent a 17-question survey to these volunteers, asking them how they felt when they did a kind act. A total of 3,296 surveys were returned to Luks, and after a computerized analysis, he saw a clear cause-and-effect relationship between helping and good health. In a nutshell, Luks’ concluded, “Helping contributes to the maintenance of good health, and it can diminish the effect of diseases and disorders both serious and minor, psychological and physical.”

The volunteers in Luks’ study testified to feeling a rush of euphoria, followed by a longer period of calm, after performing a kind act. This feeling, which Luks calls “helper’s high,” involves physical sensations that strongly indicate a sharp reduction in stress and the release of the body’s natural painkillers, the endorphins. This initial rush is then followed by a longer-lasting period of improved emotional well-being.

This reduction in stress is vital to the health improvements reported by so many study volunteers. (In fact, more than 90 percent of Luks’ volunteers reported that regular volunteering produced feelings which are a powerful antidote to stress.) Why is stress reduction so important? Because stress can be the root cause of so many maladies, according to Hans Selye, a Hungarian physician who wrote a groundbreaking book called The Stress of Life in 1956.

In this book, Selye coined the term “stress,” describing it as a physiological response to external experiences and traumas. Stress causes a racing heart and increased breathing rate, and also sparks the adrenal glands to pump adrenaline into our bloodstream, giving us extra strength. In addition, corticosteroids — which are powerful hormones — and adrenaline work together to release fatty acids into the bloodstream, where they become energy for our muscles.

This arousal, if prolonged, shifts from a source of strength and energy into a cause of deterioration. For example, corticosteroids will, over a prolonged period, suppress immune-system functioning. Increased adrenaline and corticosteroids can aggravate diabetes. And as the adrenaline-produced fatty acids needed for energy stay in the blood, the liver converts them into cholesterol, which can lead to arteriosclerosis. A speeded-up heart rate, if prolonged, will increase the risk of high blood pressure, stroke and heart disease.

In his book, Selye actually called for a new way of life that would reduce the negative effects of stress — a way of life he dubbed “altruistic egoism.” This way of life would require us to adopt behaviors that involve “the creation of feelings of accomplishment and security [in ourselves] through the inspiration in others of love, good will and gratitude for what we have done or are likely to do in the future.” Selye’s fundamental remedy was to do good for the self by making the effort to do good for others.

Selye’s findings on stress are cited by Luks because many of his study volunteers had stress-related health problems that improved after performing kind acts.

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A simple play on words, a negative turned positive and a movement is sparked. “Today I will commit one random act of senseless kindness.” This simple phrase has launched an international movement inspiring people to practice kindness and to “pass it on” to others. It spawned bumper stickers, T-shirts, books, a foundation. There are now even designated Random Acts of Kindness Weeks and World Kindness Days.

While pondering an assignment for his human relations class at Bakersfield College, Chuck Wall overheard the radio news, “We have another random act of senseless violence to report.” He took out the “violence” and stuck in “kindness” and gave his class their assignment. Revolutions come from just such flashes of inspiration and Wall’s students became kindness revolutionaries.

Kindness is contagious. A smile begets a smile, simple courtesies encourage politeness, and a thoughtful gesture lingers in the heart. It feels good to do good and doing good deeds make others feel good. And so it goes, one good turn deserves another, and kindness becomes a way of life. Kindness is fundamental to life and it is essential in creating healthy, happy human relationships. We all need to be shown kindness and we all need to express it. Acts of kindness connect us to one another. It gives us hope in humanity.

Whether random or well planned out and articulated, acts of kindness have a domino affect in creating a better world. Generosity of spirit is just as important as monetary contributions. Sincere acts of kindness are almost always appreciated, even if there is no acknowledgment. For true kindness is unconditional with no thought of reciprocation.

Kindness lingers. We may forget the words, or even the person, but we seldom forget the act, a door held open, a cookie from a neighbor, a word of encouragement when we are feeling blue. Try it today. Commit one random act of senseless kindness. Mow a neighbor’s lawn, let someone cut in line in front of you, hand out balloons for no reason, say something nice to everyone you meet. Chances are those that you touch today will “pass it on” to others. We can change the world, one smile at a time.

For more information visit Actsofkindness.org

Reprinted with permission from DailyOM.com – Inspirational thoughts for a happy, healthy and fulfilling day. Register for free at www.dailyom.com © 2004-2010 DailyOM -All Rights Reserved.

One Kind Act Calls for Submissions

One Kind Act is now accepting submissions for its first anthology. One Kind Act is a social movement aimed at making lives happier and more fulfilling while making the world a better place … One Kind Act at a time.

Life is all about interacting. We forget that as we speed past other people in shiny boxes on the highway, or buy our morning coffee from a stranger in a window, or pump gas next to five other people never lifting our heads to see who they are.

But when we choose to notice the people around us and we act with kindness, we cause a chain reaction. A smile in the grocery store. An open door for a mother struggling with a baby carriage. A double batch of soup so there is extra for a neighbor. When we give and receive these gifts, we realize it really is the small things that matter.

We at One Kind Act have heard a lot of your stories and now we want to anthologize them to inspire and motivate others. We are looking for stories of both givers and recipients of Kind Acts. They may be with strangers, family members, or friends in private or professional settings. Don’t think your story isn’t what we’re looking for. If a Kind Act popped into your head, send it to us. And tell your friends. The more diverse, the merrier.

Guidelines

• Nonfiction stories and essays can be between 200 – 2000 words in length.
• Please submit your stories electronically as an attachment (word or pdf format) or in the body of your email to stories@onekindact.com. Subject line: “Anthology.”
• You may submit anonymously. However, if you would like to be credited, please include you name, city, state, country, age, profession, or any other pertinent details you would like us to include. Limit is a 65-70 word bio. Inclusions of web address will be considered.

Other Details

• You retain all rights to your work. We just need one-time and electronic reprint rights.
• Will reserve the right to edit your story for consistency, grammar, and spelling.
• You may submit as many stories as you like for consideration. Please send individual submissions separately.
• Deadline for submissions is midnight February 12, 2010. You will be informed by the end of February if your story will be included in the anthology.
• Publication is anticipated mid 2010.

Stay up-to-date about the anthology’s progress at: www.onekindact.com

The Bottom Line
Publishing this anthology is a labor of love for One Kind Act. Hence, we can not pay for contributions. However we will actively promote the anthology and your writing.

*A portion of the proceeds from the sale of the book will go to fund One Kind Act.Com to keep the website up and running, as well as,  funding  random acts of kindness.

Thank you for considering a submission.

About the Editors

Matthew Costello is an e-commerce guru and CEO of Web Marketing Advisors, a strategic marketing and business development firm. Matthew is also the founder of One Kind Act, a social movement designed to change the world by motivating others to leap in and really live, just One Kind Act at a time. He is dedicated to helping people focus on kindness and energize their lives. In addition to One Kind Act.Com, he also owns and operates The Winning Attitude.com, a site dedicated to motivation, inspiration, and more.

Julie Luongo is the author of The Hard Way (Forge, 2008), her debut novel, which was met with unanimous critical praise. She holds a Master’s degree in Creative Writing from Temple University and a Bachelor’s from Penn State in Advertising. She is a former writing instructor, editor, and playwright. She always thanks cashiers; waves people through in traffic, and sometimes even smiles at strangers. In addition Julie played a large role in the creation of One Kind Act.Com and continues to do so.

*Reprint Notice:
Permission to reprint or redistribute altered or excerpted material from this post is allowed only if you do the following:

• Include, all links, bio’s and credits.
  or
• Provide a direct link back to the post, and email us, to let us know about the link.

Copyright© 2009 ONE KIND ACT.COM. All Rights Reserved.

It is not about reading goodness that people do, it’s about doing goodness. It’s about making a change in your life, in your community, for a better world in which to live. I strongly suggest, or maybe the word is challenge, I challenge you to stop reading and start doing.One daily deed a day is all you have to do, you will feel so good about making a difference, you will want to do another and another. Don’t sit back and think it’s for the other guy to do. We change the world, one person, one kindness, one deed at a time. Be the change you want to see in the world.

It’s not only a matter of doing. What if everyone told someone they know about Project Linus, or started a get together with your friends once a month to make blankets for Project Linus, now you have a monthly social get together for a good cause.

Put a flyer in your church, or supermarket, with the idea, post your number, now you have a group of new friends!

Better yet, if you know of seniors, or contact a senior facility, tell them about the project. Ask them to knit or crochet 9 x 9 squares and you will pick them up, then have your group put the blankets together. Makes the seniors wake up everyday to a job they need to do, making them feel needed. Go back and take pictures with them when the blankets are made. They can post it in their monthly newsletter. I’m sure they’d be smiling for days over that.

Look in the phone book, and call your local assisted living, ask to speak to the activities director, and tell him/her about the Sunkist Lemonade stand. This would be a perfect project for seniors to do, they can raise funds for the local food bank, donate to the girls scouts, or to an animal shelter. It’s so important for seniors to feel needed and this is the perfect task. This is something they can make, and surely be able to sit and sell in front of their facility. This site is about change, and passing on ideas is helping to make a difference.

Take it from an ex-activities director, ideas are always welcome. This great idea was posted by Kindness Matters, as was Project Linus, way to go!!

You don’t have to necessarily do it, you can be a co-coordinator, let’s face it, not all of us have the energy to garden, but if we posted a flyer calling all high school students that need community hours. Become a Gardening Angel, earn your hours and make a difference. I’m sure if you contact any church, they will post that in their weekly bulletin, along with an ad on anyone physically not able to garden and is in need, please call (your telephone number) all you have to do is co-ordinate the two.

I have read such great ideas on this blog site.  I myself have started the Birthday Club (thanks Betty)

This article has been re-posted. It originates from Blog 4 Change.org. Blog4Change.org is a charity project that allows anyone who wants one a free blog. A simple platform is used so users can easily start blogging about all the positive things they have done in their life that have influenced positive change in others. Think of this site as a daily journal of positive action. Be sure to visit Blog4Change.org for more articles.

Acts of kindness and generosity come in many different forms: Giving food to a hungry stranger, donating one’s time to aid homeless people or helping a fellow tenant make the rent. But it’s their ability to touch us and stick in our memories that makes sometimes even small gestures a powerful and lasting force in our lives.

Couple years ago, NPR invited listeners to share stories about “good deeds” they had witnessed or heard about. The original audio program highlighted some of the stories, but there were many more that couldn’t be fit into the short time slot. Below are some of those gems:

After the Storm
Beverly Jordan witnessed an extraordinary act of generosity after Hurricane Andrew slammed into South Florida in 1992, leaving a wide path of destruction in its path. Jordan, a nurse, volunteered to go door to door in Miami delivering emergency relief.

Her relief van pulled up to a house that was nothing but a shell. She asked the young owners if they needed anything. “They said, ‘No, but can you wait a minute here?’ They came back out with a case of diapers and four or five bags of food and said, ‘Would you please give this to somebody who needs it worse than we do?’”

Jordan says she never got the couple’s name and wishes that she could thank them for their generosity.

The Most Memorable Christmas
Amy Scharman of Mapleton, Utah, remembered the Christmas after her parents divorced. Her mother was raising 13 kids with no child support. The holiday was looking pretty grim.

“It was about dusk on Christmas Eve and we heard a knock on the back door,” Scharman says. When they opened it, no one was there. But someone had left 10 big bags filled with presents for the children, including clothes and toys.

“It was such an overwhelming feeling to see such generosity from I don’t even know who it was,” she says. Ten years later, Scharman and her family still don’t know who did that good deed. Amy Scharman ends her note, “If you’re out there, thank you for making that Christmas the most memorable of all.”

A Mother’s Good Example
Sometimes witnessing a good deed leaves a lasting impression. Donna Delfino Dugay of Harper Woods, Mich., remembers a day in California when she was 11 years old, and her parents took their six children for a special day at the beach. Donna’s mother brought a picnic lunch — fried chicken and her famous potato salad — and prepared a plate for each of them.

“When I looked up from my plate, my mother was fixing one more plate… She turned away from us and walked over maybe 20 or 30 feet to where there was a man by himself. And he was picking his way through the trashcan. And my mother — I don’t know whether she just put the plate there or whether she touched him gently or whether she said a few words — but I remember him turning to her in a gesture of thankfulness.”

Dugay’s mother came back and sat down at the table. “Years later, Dugay asked her mother if she remembered the incident. “She laughed and said, ‘Not at all.’ But for me, I remember it very well because for me, it was the touchstone for what good deeds became in my life.”

Never Too Young to Help
Many listeners wrote of the generosity of very young people, Stamberg reports. Four-year-old Justin Dingman took the hand of a frightened fellow pre-schooler, serving as the welcoming committee on the boy’s first day at school. Liadan Susoeff, 7, took books to a shelter in Pittsburgh at holiday time and read to the children there. Eight-year-old Luke O’Neill took one of his own coats to school so a less fortunate classmate could go outside at recess.

‘A King’s Ransom’
Peter Strupp of Boston remembers being “flat broke” his senior year at the University of Wisconsin. When he could no longer afford the rent at his fraternity, he found refuge in a campus Christian fellowship house.

Strupp would sneak into the kitchen to take food bought by his fellow tenants. “Inevitably the month came that I couldn’t make the rent…

“The night before I was going to tell my housemates I was leaving, one of them stopped me in the kitchen. We were alone… He reached into his pocket and handed me a month’s rent, in cash. Before I could say anything, he said, ‘Don’t pay me back.’ Though the rent was less than $100, Strupp writes, “in a dark hour, it was a king’s ransom.”

Kindness in Passing
A simple act of kindness on a hot day nearly 50 years ago left a lasting memory for Dan Sullivan.

“There is hardly anything more boring than traveling in a military convoy,” Sullivan writes. “In late 1955, a deuce-and-a-half truck filled with a dozen GIs and I were crawling across northern Iowa. It was hot, even with the canvas sides rolled up. There were no stops for sodas, and the 30 thirsty miles per hour took us nowhere forever. One of the few entertainments was watching an occasional car pass, so when a convertible pulled in behind, we took notice — even more notice when the beautiful woman in the passenger seat waved and smiled. And oh, miracle, she reached back into a cooler and pulled out two bottles of ice-cold Royal Crown Cola, which she passed up to us as they went by. Wherever that woman is, I hope she sleeps well tonight.”

Giving at Work
David Hutmacher of Marietta, Ga., wrote of the generosity he received from co-workers when he became seriously ill three years ago. After three hospital stays, including two surgeries, he had used up all of his vacation and sick leave.

“It was the end of the year and my last paycheck at the first of December was for approximately 10 percent of its usual amount. I was worried it was fast approaching Christmas and I wouldn’t be going back to work until mid-January at the earliest. I am married and have two daughters who at that time were 8 and 5, respectively. My wife, who is a schoolteacher, was just barely keeping things together. I really didn’t think there would be much if any Christmas that year. So I was very surprised when on the 15th of December I received a paycheck. When I opened it there was not only a full pay period but also the pay I was missing from the previous check. I immediately called our comptroller for an explanation. It seems that all the employees had gotten together and donated any vacation that they had left for the year so I could get paid. I cried. It was truly a Good Deed.”

About The Post
This post has been re-printed from HelpOthers.org a fantastic website dedicated to helping others. You can read many more stories by visiting their website @ www.helpothers.org. Copyright 2009 – HelpOthers.org, All Rights Reserved

Technorati Tags: be kind, daily acts of kindness, Helping Others, kindness, one kind act, random acts of kindness, small acts of kindness

As life dragged on after her best friend Lynda Drabek’s funeral, Charlene Moser took a novel approach to keeping the pain at bay: She carried out small acts of kindness. The good deeds she choose”paying for the drive-thru customer behind her, for instance”were things Lynda, a lifelong altruist, had done. “She would go through her address book, pick someone at random and write a card to them”no occasion, just because,” Moser recalls.

At first, being the Good Samaritan wasn’t easy. Both recipients and intermediaries the drive-thru cashiers, for instance were suspicious of her motives. Still, any resistance paled compared to the satisfaction Moser felt when someone smiled or thanked her for her efforts.

Literature, religions and fairy tales all trumpet the message that kindness will change our lives for the better—think of a transformed Scrooge in A Christmas Carol. But is this message just a sugar-coated platitude, or can altruism really create lasting satisfaction?

Last year, Stanford University psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky decided to put the kindness-fulfillment connection to the test. She asked students to carry out five weekly “random acts of kindness” of their choice, anything from buying a Big Mac for a homeless person to helping a younger sibling with schoolwork.

Her results indicate the Scrooge effect is no myth. The students reported higher levels of happiness than a control group, with students who performed all five kind acts in one day reaping the biggest rewards by the end of the six-week study period. Previous studies have found that altruistic people tend to be happy, but Lyubomirsky’s was the first to establish that good deeds are actually the direct cause of an increase in well-being.

Why is being generous such a mood-booster? While hard-and-fast answers are elusive, the main reason is that it gives people a strong sense they’re doing something that matters. “There are a lot of positive social consequences to being kind—other people appreciate you, they’re grateful and they might reciprocate,” Lyubomirsky says. All of these responses, she adds, are likely to make your happiness cup run over. In another study, she found that people who felt most strongly that others appreciated their efforts reported the biggest boost.

New Jersey rabbi Shmuel Greenbaum can testify to the ways kind acts reshape the self-image. After his wife, Shoshana, was killed by a suicide bomber in Israel in 2001, Greenbaum decided to respond by carrying out small acts of kindness each day—and gradually felt his anger and apathy dissolve, replaced by a strong sense of purpose. “Being kind helps you feel in control,” Greenbaum says. “By doing a good deed, you’re saying, ‘Here’s something I can do to change the world.’ “

Of course, real-world kindness bears little resemblance to sunshine-and-lollipops cliches. For starters, not all good deeds promise equal returns. Passing out smiley-face stickers or leaving lucky pennies on the sidewalk may not yield fulfillment, according to Jonathan Haidt, a University of Virginia psychologist and author of The Happiness Hypothesis. Instead, he recommends choosing deeds that strengthen existing social ties, such as driving to visit your grandmother. “If you do a random act of kindness for a stranger and it’s a one-shot deal, there’s much less likelihood that you’re going to see any benefit,” he says. “It’s not the altruism per se that’s important. It’s really all about building relationships.”

Lyubomirsky’s work reveals another potential kindness pitfall: Like almost any other activity, being nice gets boring after a while. In a companion study, she found that participants who varied their acts of kindness—volunteering at a library one day and hosting a surprise party for a friend the next, for instance reported bigger increases in mood than those who repeated the same act over and over. “You need variety or else it gets monotonous,” she says. “It becomes a chore, like doing the same run every day.” To experience kindness as a natural high rather than drudgery, she suggests brainstorming creative, unexpected good deeds, like surprising your nephew with a new Super Soaker or returning to your old high school to visit a teacher who inspired you.

It’s easy to resolve to be a kinder person, but translating intention into reality is another matter entirely. To make sure your commitment doesn’t weaken, Haidt advises using a marathoner’s strategy: partner up. “Try joining a volunteer outfit where you form ties. That’s easier to sustain than being a ‘kindness guerrilla’ working on your own.”

Though Charlene Moser started out as an underground altruist, she eventually broadened her vision, wanting others to share in the joy she felt from doing good deeds. Three years ago, she founded Lynda’s Legacy, a nonprofit organization dedicated to encouraging people to carry out acts of kindness. At last count, the society had distributed more than 10,000 “pay it forward” cards reminding people to incorporate something kind into their day. Says Moser: “I like to think the cards have resulted in thousands of kindnesses to people I will never know in places I will never see.”

A simple play on words, a negative turned positive and a movement is sparked. “Today I will commit one random act of senseless kindness.” This simple phrase has launched an international movement inspiring people to practice kindness and to “pass it on” to others. It spawned bumper stickers, T-shirts, books, a foundation. There are now even designated Random Acts of Kindness Weeks and World Kindness Days.

While pondering an assignment for his human relations class at Bakersfield College, Chuck Wall overheard the radio news, “We have another random act of senseless violence to report.” He took out the “violence” and stuck in “kindness” and gave his class their assignment. Revolutions come from just such flashes of inspiration and Wall’s students became kindness revolutionaries.

Kindness is contagious. A smile begets a smile, simple courtesies encourage politeness, and a thoughtful gesture lingers in the heart. It feels good to do good and doing good deeds make others feel good. And so it goes, one good turn deserves another, and kindness becomes a way of life. Kindness is fundamental to life and it is essential in creating healthy, happy human relationships. We all need to be shown kindness and we all need to express it. Acts of kindness connect us to one another. It gives us hope in humanity.

Whether random or well planned out and articulated, acts of kindness have a domino affect in creating a better world. Generosity of spirit is just as important as monetary contributions. Sincere acts of kindness are almost always appreciated, even if there is no acknowledgment. For true kindness is unconditional with no thought of reciprocation.

Kindness lingers. We may forget the words, or even the person, but we seldom forget the act, a door held open, a cookie from a neighbor, a word of encouragement when we are feeling blue. Try it today. Commit one random act of senseless kindness. Mow a neighbor’s lawn, let someone cut in line in front of you, hand out balloons for no reason, say something nice to everyone you meet. Chances are those that you touch today will “pass it on” to others. We can change the world, one smile at a time.For more information visit Actsofkindness.org

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As life dragged on after her best friend Lynda Drabek’s funeral, Charlene Moser took a novel approach to keeping the pain at bay: She carried out small acts of kindness. The good deeds she chose—paying for the drive-thru customer behind her, for instance—were things Lynda, a lifelong altruist, had done. “She would go through her address book, pick someone at random and write a card to them—no occasion, just because,” Moser recalls.

At first, being the Good Samaritan wasn’t easy. Both recipients and intermediaries—the drive-thru cashiers, for instance—were suspicious of her motives. Still, any resistance paled compared to the satisfaction Moser felt when someone smiled or thanked her for her efforts.

Literature, religions and fairy tales all trumpet the message that kindness will change our lives for the better—think of a transformed Scrooge in A Christmas Carol. But is this message just a sugar-coated platitude, or can altruism really create lasting satisfaction?

Last year, Stanford University psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky decided to put the kindness-fulfillment connection to the test. She asked students to carry out five weekly “random acts of kindness” of their choice, anything from buying a Big Mac for a homeless person to helping a younger sibling with schoolwork.

Her results indicate the Scrooge effect is no myth. The students reported higher levels of happiness than a control group, with students who performed all five kind acts in one day reaping the biggest rewards by the end of the six-week study period. Previous studies have found that altruistic people tend to be happy, but Lyubomirsky’s was the first to establish that good deeds are actually the direct cause of an increase in well-being.

Why is being generous such a mood-booster? While hard-and-fast answers are elusive, the main reason is that it gives people a strong sense they’re doing something that matters. “There are a lot of positive social consequences to being kind—other people appreciate you, they’re grateful and they might reciprocate,” Lyubomirsky says. All of these responses, she adds, are likely to make your happiness cup run over. In another study, she found that people who felt most strongly that others appreciated their efforts reported the biggest boost.

New Jersey rabbi Shmuel Greenbaum can testify to the ways kind acts reshape the self-image. After his wife, Shoshana, was killed by a suicide bomber in Israel in 2001, Greenbaum decided to respond by carrying out small acts of kindness each day—and gradually felt his anger and apathy dissolve, replaced by a strong sense of purpose. “Being kind helps you feel in control,” Greenbaum says. “By doing a good deed, you’re saying, ‘Here’s something I can do to change the world.’ ”

Of course, real-world kindness bears little resemblance to sunshine-and-lollipops cliches. For starters, not all good deeds promise equal returns. Passing out smiley-face stickers or leaving lucky pennies on the sidewalk may not yield fulfillment, according to Jonathan Haidt, a University of Virginia psychologist and author of The Happiness Hypothesis. Instead, he recommends choosing deeds that strengthen existing social ties, such as driving to visit your grandmother. “If you do a random act of kindness for a stranger and it’s a one-shot deal, there’s much less likelihood that you’re going to see any benefit,” he says. “It’s not the altruism per se that’s important. It’s really all about building relationships.”