• “The ideas that have lighted my way have been kindness, beauty and truth.” ~  Albert Einstein




• “Kindness is the oil that smoothen the friction of life.” ~Anonymous




• “From what we get, we can make a living; what we give, however, makes a life.” ~  Arthur Ashe




• “All you have shall some day be given; Therefore give now, that the season of giving may be yours and not your inheritors.” ~  Kahlil Gibran




• “No matter how little you have, you can always give some of it away.” ~ Catherine Marshall




• “Nothing that you have not given away will ever be really yours.” ~ C. S. Lewis

Since giving and receiving are so intimately intertwined in our lives, we often expect that we can attract abundance by simply conducting ourselves in an openhanded fashion. Yet we find ourselves wallowing in disappointment when our ample generosity is not met with the expected results. The answer to this quandary lies in the expectations that, in part, initially prompted us to give. Though our intention is likely pure, we can unintentionally mar the beautiful experience of giving by focusing on what we will eventually receive in return. When we let go of the notion that we deserve to receive gifts based on giving gifts, bounty can once again flow freely in and out of our lives.

When the gifts you give are laden down with expectations, they cease to be gifts and become units of exchange that you are, in effect, trading for some reward. Thus, the reciprocal laws of the universe err on the side of the giver who shares for the sake of sharing. You may have seen this simple truth at work in your own experience, perhaps when life’s busyness prevented you from spending too much time contemplating the results your charitable actions would ultimately have on the lives of others. It was likely then that you received the greatest gifts in return for your kindness. If you have trouble divesting yourself of your expectations, you may need to reflect upon the root of your inability to act in the true spirit of giving. Each time you make a gift, whether spiritual or tangible, ask yourself if there is something you hope to receive in return. You may be surprised to discover that you expect to be repaid with an easy life, financial windfalls, or opportunities.

To integrate this most selfless form of generosity into your life, you will have to let go of your need to be in control. Accepting that while like inevitably attracts like, it typically does so on an unobservable timetable. This can help you stop weighing the gifts you give against those you have received. Giving eventually becomes a profound joy that stands alone, separate from any and all conditions, and you will learn to appreciate the flow of reciprocal abundance as a gift in and of itself.

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In the quest to create a gentler, more loving world, kindness is the easiest tool we can use. Though it is easy to overlook opportunities to be kind, our lives are replete with situations in which we can be helpful, considerate, thoughtful, and friendly to loved ones and associates, as well as strangers. The touching, selfless acts of kindness that have the most profoundly uplifting effects are often the simplest: a word of praise, a gentle touch, a helping hand, a gesture of courtesy, or a smile. Such small kindnesses represent an unconditional, unrestricted form of love that we are free to give or withhold at will. When you give the gift of kindness, whether in the form of assistance, concern, or friendliness, your actions create a beacon of happiness and hope that warms people’s hearts.

The components of kindness are compassion, respect, and generosity. Put simply, kindness is the conscious act of engaging others in a positive way without asking whether those individuals deserve to be treated kindly. All living beings thrive on kindness. A single, sincere compliment can turn a person’s entire world around. Holding a door or thanking someone who has held a door for you can inspire others to practice politeness and make already kind individuals feel good about their efforts. Smiling at people you meet-even those who make you feel like frowning-can turn a dreary encounter into a delightful one, for both of you. Every kind act has a positive influence on the individual who has performed said act as well as on the recipient, regardless of whether the act is acknowledged. Kindness brings about more kindness and slowly but surely takes a positive toll on humanity.

Weaving the thread of kindness into your everyday life can be as easy as choosing to offer a hearty “Good morning” and “Good night” to your coworkers or neighbors, a stranger on the street, or the grocery store clerk. When you commit a kind act, you are momentarily disconnected from your ego and bonded with the individual who has benefited from your kindness. Being fully present in each moment of your life facilitates kindness as it increases your awareness of the people around you. You’ll discover that each act of kindness you engage in makes the world, in some small way, a better place.

Kindness is a generosity of spirit. It comes to life when we give of ourselves and our time to be of help to others, without expecting anything in return. When you show kindness to somebody you bring out the best in yourself, and a side-effect of brightening up somebody else’s day is to feel happier in the moment yourself.

Pay attention to the impact your behavior has on others, and notice your own feelings in association to their reactions. And think about how you feel yourself when somebody else shows you kindness. What you give comes back to you in even greater quantity. When you are kind, you not only get an immediate payback in terms of a feel-good factor, you will also receive kindness from others, and in completely unexpected and unrelated ways.

It is so easy to find ways to be kind to others: say something supportive when you instinctively feel someone needs to hear it; offer help without being asked for it; smile encouragingly; swallow your criticisms; listen without judgment; let mistakes slide instead of assigning blame; make small sacrifices for the benefit of somebody in greater need.

A great rule of thumb I apply to my life is to do unto others as I’d have them do unto me, and, do unto myself as I’d do unto others. The latter part is just as important as the first. It is no good to be consistently kind to others and forget to be so to yourself. You will run out of steam, and feel less able to show kindness to others if you don’t replenish your own mind, body and spirit on a regular basis.

Being kind to yourself means getting your needs met, being gentle with yourself instead of critical when you feel you’re not performing at your best, forgiving yourself when the need arises instead of beating yourself up. When you get into the habit of treating yourself with kindness, it becomes much easier to extend that consideration and behavior to others.

For a copy of her free ebook, The Steps to True Inner Happiness, visit her website: http://www.thehappinessbusiness.com

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My husband and I were at a discount grocery store waiting in line. We were behind a mother and her boy who was probably about seven years old. She had a beautiful purple bouquet in her basket. The flowers brought a smile to my face. I remarked to the lady how lovely her flowers were and she said her son picked them out. He just beamed at the compliment so I asked if he would like to pick some out for me.

He was off like a shot down the aisle to pick out a bouquet for me. When he returned he was so obviously pleased at having done a two-fold good job:  picking out nice flowers and helping an “old lady.”

When I thanked him, he said a very loud and clear “You’re welcome.” So, by then Mama is beaming at her helpful polite son who feels great about doing a good deed. They’re feeling great and I’m feeling great about getting to be a part of this exchange.

But it didn’t end there. You see, among the whole line of people watching as they waited to check out was a woman I had overheard saying that she live alone.  As we were leaving the store a little voice inside said, “Give the flowers to that woman.”  In the parking lot I went up to her and explained that the little voice had said I was to give her the flowers.

In our brief exchange she said that she really couldn’t take the flowers but that the gesture was truly moving. She thanked me for the kind offer.

So, this bouquet touched the hearts of a mother and son, me and my husband, the line of shoppers and, our special stranger in the parking lot.  And my bonus?  I got to go home with the flowers!

The answer is an overwhelming “yes!” A number of scientific studies show that Acts of Kindness result in significant health benefits, both physical and mental, for those who perform them.

One of the most compelling studies of altruism was performed by Allan Luks and documented in his 1991 book, The Healing Power of Doing Good: The Health and Spiritual Benefits of Helping Others. Luks is the former executive director of the Institute for the Advancement of Health and executive director of Big Brothers/Big Sisters of New York City.

Luks’ study involved more than 3,000 volunteers of all ages at more than 20 organizations throughout the country. He sent a 17-question survey to these volunteers, asking them how they felt when they did a kind act. A total of 3,296 surveys were returned to Luks, and after a computerized analysis, he saw a clear cause-and-effect relationship between helping and good health. In a nutshell, Luks’ concluded, “Helping contributes to the maintenance of good health, and it can diminish the effect of diseases and disorders both serious and minor, psychological and physical.”

The volunteers in Luks’ study testified to feeling a rush of euphoria, followed by a longer period of calm, after performing a kind act. This feeling, which Luks calls “helper’s high,” involves physical sensations that strongly indicate a sharp reduction in stress and the release of the body’s natural painkillers, the endorphins. This initial rush is then followed by a longer-lasting period of improved emotional well-being.

This reduction in stress is vital to the health improvements reported by so many study volunteers. (In fact, more than 90 percent of Luks’ volunteers reported that regular volunteering produced feelings which are a powerful antidote to stress.) Why is stress reduction so important? Because stress can be the root cause of so many maladies, according to Hans Selye, a Hungarian physician who wrote a groundbreaking book called The Stress of Life in 1956.

In this book, Selye coined the term “stress,” describing it as a physiological response to external experiences and traumas. Stress causes a racing heart and increased breathing rate, and also sparks the adrenal glands to pump adrenaline into our bloodstream, giving us extra strength. In addition, corticosteroids — which are powerful hormones — and adrenaline work together to release fatty acids into the bloodstream, where they become energy for our muscles.

This arousal, if prolonged, shifts from a source of strength and energy into a cause of deterioration. For example, corticosteroids will, over a prolonged period, suppress immune-system functioning. Increased adrenaline and corticosteroids can aggravate diabetes. And as the adrenaline-produced fatty acids needed for energy stay in the blood, the liver converts them into cholesterol, which can lead to arteriosclerosis. A speeded-up heart rate, if prolonged, will increase the risk of high blood pressure, stroke and heart disease.

In his book, Selye actually called for a new way of life that would reduce the negative effects of stress — a way of life he dubbed “altruistic egoism.” This way of life would require us to adopt behaviors that involve “the creation of feelings of accomplishment and security [in ourselves] through the inspiration in others of love, good will and gratitude for what we have done or are likely to do in the future.” Selye’s fundamental remedy was to do good for the self by making the effort to do good for others.

Selye’s findings on stress are cited by Luks because many of his study volunteers had stress-related health problems that improved after performing kind acts.

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Kindness expands the light within us and reaches out to touch the light in others as well. This can change the world.

Kindness is an ideal that is easily accessible to all of us. We all know that a small kindness can make our journeys lighter and more enjoyable. Even bringing an instance of kindness to mind can put a smile on your face days or weeks later or perhaps even inspire you to share kindness with another. Though it may seem simple to the point of insignificance, many cultures throughout the world and history have recognized kindness as a powerful virtue. It may be the simplest way to experience and share all the grandest ideals of humanity. We can make the choice to act from the best place within ourselves at any time, while simultaneously recognizing the highest potential in another with the smallest of acts, nourishing the seed of hope in each soul we encounter.

In a way, kindness acts as the oil that makes the engine of our world move more smoothly and with less friction. We can still get where we are going but the ride is more pleasant, and those around us can share in the ideal world that we help to create. We are all fortunate that kindness is limitless in its supply and available to everyone. When we act in ways that confirm our ideals, we make the ideal our reality. Then, instead of affirming the experience of struggle and competition, we can shift our experience to the reality of ease and pleasurable camaraderie with the fellow citizens of the world.

Whether giving way to someone in traffic or letting someone go ahead of us in line, donating money or sharing our homes in a crisis, we actively create a universe of kindness and giving with every choice we make. The smallest gesture can bring a smile to light the shadow of an unpleasant situation or remove tension from a difficult task, but it’s effects can echo and extend far beyond the moment. We can be sure that we will receive a kindness in return, but giving is its own reward. Kindness expands the light within us and reaches out to touch the light in others as well, giving us all a glimpse of the glow that has the power to enlighten our world.

The most difficult time to be generous is when we ourselves are feeling poor. While some of us have experienced actually being in the red financially, there are those of us who would feel broke even if we had a million dollars in the bank. Either way, as the old adage goes, it is always in giving that we receive. Meaning that when we are living in a state of lack, the very gesture we may least want to give is the very act that could help us create the abundance that we seek. One way to practice generosity is to give energy where it is needed. Giving money to a cause or person in need is one way to give energy. Giving attention, love, or a smile to another person are other acts of giving that we can offer. After all, there are people all over the world that are hungry for love.

Sometimes when we practice generosity, we practice it conditionally. We might be expecting to “receive back” from the person to whom we gave. We might even become angry or resentful if that person doesn’t reciprocate. However, trust in the natural flow of energy, and you will find yourself practicing generosity with no strings attached. This is the purest form of giving. Remember that what you send out will always come back you. Selflessly help a friend in need without expecting them to return the same favor in the same way, and know that you, too, will receive that support from the universe when you need it. Besides, while giving conditionally creates stress (because we are waiting with an invisible balance sheet to receive our due), giving unconditionally creates and generates abundance. We give freely, because we trust that there is always an unlimited supply.

Being aware of how much we are always supported by the universe is one of the keys to abundance and generosity. Consciously remember the times you’ve received support from expected and unexpected sources. Remember anyone who has helped you when you’ve needed it most, and bless all situations that come into your life for the lessons and gifts they bring you. Remember that all things given and received emanate from generosity. Giving is an act of gratitude. Plant the seeds of generosity through your acts of giving, and you will grow the fruits of abundance for yourself and those around you.